Well, hello there.
Im Alicja from Lublin, Poland . Well, i still have a male name officially, but i will change that in the (near, i hope) future.
I tried few times to message guys without premium accounts, but it seems that my messages cant even reach you, sorry :( This site knows how to take care of business.
I'm a creative, chaotic, emotional and infantile person. INFP-T type, if someone cares about this stuff.
I'm also musician, singer to be precise. Or at least trying to become one. Classical singing.
I also often tend to analyze and question everything. It's quite confusing. And i think i spend too much time... thinking.
Nihilist, but romantic at the same time.
I love intelligent and emotional people. I'm searching for someone with whom I could take psychedelics and share my thoughts about... everything! Lets experience each other and the world together. (thought i kinda lost my hope for finding "mr right")
Ok, but now, a little bit less rainbows and butterflies now:
I currently suffer from severe depression. Really severe. It's the hardest time in my life and medicines don't help. It started getting badly 10 years ago and it gets worse each year. If i manage to make it through, it will be a miracle. I am often very sad, bitter and suicidal. It's just a warning. I know living with a person like that is kinda hell, so if you won't have patience and won't accept me like that - move on. Why is my depression like this? It's partially genetic, partially because of my male body, which i hate so much, partially because im still often treated as a male, partially because i've experienced so much rejection and so little acceptance, partially because i'm lonely as hell whole my life, partially because i have no job, money and future doesn't seem bright for me.
It's hard for me to trust people. Lots of people have hurt me in the past. Trusting someone takes lots of time for me. As im born trans, my body sucks and i dont have money fix it, and im often rejected because of it. Fighting with baldness + a lot of people still see me as a guy. Which makes my life even more miserable and me - more suicidal.
Being a trans person is a tough, shitty life. Esp. when you're not born in a rich AND supportive family. So being WITH a trans person is also tough, if you think its all rainbows and butterflies, cool adventure - you're wrong, and might want to question your preferences, as cis girls face less struggle. And if you wish to leave me with my struggles all alone and just want to enjoy my company - im not your girl.
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