Random Thougths

Hi anyone reading this.  Just wanted to put on paper (Ok, electronic paper! - lol) my thoughts.  I am going through therapy as is my wife to try to sort all this out.  However, I keep thinking, at times, that in a way I hope the outcome is that my wife can't accept all this so that I can pursue my dream!  That dream being actually transitioning to become a female.  As my feminine alter-ego I do fantasize about being with a man constantly.   My desires to be with a woman as a man have diminished drastically.  I no longer, as a man, look at women and want to be "with" them but I look at women and I want to "be them"!!  Not sure where all this will lead.  I keep telling myself that I must be honest and true to myself but at 52 years old it is difficult and scary.  If anyone actually reads this and has any thoughts and wishes to share please feel free to e-mail me!  Jenny  :)