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In the closet dying to go outside but Im afraid / General Transgender Discussion / Transgender Forum

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#1 Dec 17, 2019 9:29:PM

Samantamor
Member

In the closet dying to go outside but Im afraid

Im married but been crossdeessing since I was 14.
I need to be able to go aout dressed in  full, but I live in a small town and I am afraid someone would spot me. Need advise on how to do it.

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#2 Dec 20, 2019 3:51:PM

mary20603
Member

Re: In the closet dying to go outside but Im afraid

I would suggest to keep it a simple outing such as going to the post office to mail a letter or to stop by and get gas etc. keep away from shopping malls or stores at first to you gain a little confidence. Also remember to dress appropriately for where you are going and the the season you are in. Don't wear a cocktail dress to mail a letter and don't wear a strapless summer dress in the dead of winter time. Before you venture out  be sure to spend some time observing the women and how they dress for such activities . Above all take it slow do a small drive then do an errand or two and then move up from there

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#3 Dec 23, 2019 12:43:AM

jacqueline46b
Member

Re: In the closet dying to go outside but Im afraid

I also live in a small rural town where there's no opportunity for me to chance going out in public dressed as Jacqueline- no tg-friendly bar, club, restaurant, theater, store, etc., so I have no suggestion for you. Probably the best you can do is find another CD online who is living nearby and get to know each other so that you can visit her in her own home or meet in a motel/hotel that has private entrances to downstairs rooms. I dress (or pack clothes, makeup, etc.) and drive to one of the cities nearest me- that's 1.5 hrs to 4.5 hrs (Denver) away- and have some fun there.

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#4 Dec 23, 2019 3:18:PM

Samantamor
Member

Re: In the closet dying to go outside but Im afraid

Exelent idea. Thanks
I will try that

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#5 Jan 06, 2020 3:51:PM

GStacyHouTX
Member

Re: In the closet dying to go outside but Im afraid

Eventually, your wife is likely to go visit family for a weekend or holiday, leaving you all by yourself. That is your opportunity.
First, find the nearest bar full of queens. It is likely in the closest big city.
Second, recon it one night in your regular clothes. Put on some glasses, a hat, etc. to even disguise your regular self. If the bar has at least one crossdresser, you're good. It's likely going to be a gay bar, but at least it's safe. What you want is a bar like that one at the beginning of the Lady Gaga "A Start is Born".
Third, start preparing for a night out. Rent a nearby hotel room for the night. You get all made up, and don't have far to go.
Fourth, those kinds of bars usually have the drag shows, where a TG lip syncs on stage, that sort of thing. Those will be the nights where a lot goes on. From the other TGs, they might tell you of other similar bars.
Fifth, the next morning, get all cleaned up, and head for home.

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#6 Jan 08, 2020 2:59:PM

ariag1986
Member

Re: In the closet dying to go outside but Im afraid

If you are concerned that people will be able to tell you aren't a biological woman, I unfortunately have nothing for you because the reality is that people are going to be able to tell. Almost nobody is that good. You just have to let go of that concern. However, if you are concerned that people will recognize you, I'm guessing you can quit worrying about that. For the most part, unless you give them some kind of context that would point out your identity (such as going out with someone you know that might be recognized by others, going to places you usually spend a lot of time in, wearing the t-shirt of an obscure band people know you are into, etc) people are not going to realize who you are. We tend to look in the mirror and think we don't look any different, but we see the process and know who we are. Out in the wild, if people see you in a dress and wig, their mind might leap to a lot of things, but the chances they will connect the dots to get back to your day to day identity are slim to none.

I'd suggest something simple and don't call a lot of attention to yourself. Go out for a walk, or just get in your car and drive around. Any little thing. I remember that feeling of being trapped inside my own home and I hated it. You will get there, and trust me when I say it's extremely liberating. Best of luck.

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#7 Jan 20, 2020 4:43:PM

Re: In the closet dying to go outside but Im afraid

Samantamor wrote:

Im married but been crossdeessing since I was 14.
I need to be able to go aout dressed in  full, but I live in a small town and I am afraid someone would spot me. Need advise on how to do it.

I’ve been full time for 15 yrs and how I started out driving around in my girl stuff .Then Eventually stepping up to hanging out in the gay community and  being around people. That I knew would be open minded which made me feel little more comfortable and then Eventually moved to social Society we’re people weren’t so open minded . I just say take baby steps . And just go at your own pace . If you live in a small town maybe venture out to a different town where people don’t know you. That’s always another idea if you worry about running into somebody. Well I hope this helps somewhat good luck and have a great day

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